Adult sms

Mudat K Bad Dekha Badli Hui Thi Wo
N jane Kya Hadsa Hua Sehmi Hui
Thi Wo
Muje Dekh K Usne Chehra To Chupaya
Magr Uski Chaal Bata Rhi Thi Ch*udi Hui Thi wo...
...............................
Girl-meri bra ka kya size hai?
Boy-32
g-kaise?
b-kal to kholi thi
g-magar meri bra pe koi numbr nahi
b-to kya?
Civil engineer hu,plot dekhke area bata sakta hu.
...................................
Bachchon k doubt:

Babli - Tchr Tchr! Bus Male hai ya Female?
(Tchr Start thinking on a cute question the another kid replied)
Bunty-Tchr, Tchr It's Female.
Babli-Why
Bunty-Kyoki Sb Log Uspe Chadte Hain, Idiot.!
Tchr got tense with answer whereas
Babli In Doubt again-Agar Bus Female Hai Aur Sab Uspe Chadte Hain To Uske Bacche Kyo nahi hote ?

Teacher more tense...
Bunty again with answer-Kyoki Sab Us Par Peeche Se Chadte Hai duffer.
Teacher sharm se pani pani.
But Babli still in doubt-Maana Sabhi Peeche Se Chadte Hain par Driver Aur Conductor To Aagay Se Chadte Hain.
Phir Bachche Kyon Nahin Hote?
Teacher Ki Saanse band.
Bunty's final reply-Kyon Ki Woh Dono Topi Pehan ke Chadte Hain ...
Teacher Behosh!!@

JOKE OF THE DAY

Ustad guru ghantaal farmaate h:-
Machhli aur laundiya khud pakad k khao to he maza h.
L*und aur kanoon kabi hath m na lo.
Naukri aur tat*ton p kabhi laat na maro.
Ladki jitni b lambi ho,
lu*nd hmesha let kar hi leti h.
Lohe par hathoda aur Bho*sde par la*uda tab maro jab wo garam ho.
kismat ki karni,
ch*ut ki garmi aur
l*und ki besharmi nahi rukti.
Ehtiyaat s sex karo kyun k,
bandook se nikla faulaad aur cho*ot se nikli aulaad kabhi wapis nahi jati.
TRY ME

Similarity btwn BRA and BAR
1.Both hv same alphabets
2.Both r DRINKING zones
3.Both hv restrictd time of opening & closing
4.But when opened Both make MEN crazy !!! B-)
...............................
Sardar looks at the name plate of air hostess above her left breast... KOMAL !

With lots of confusion He asked......
"Doosra Waala SAKHT hai kya"..
................................
Collage Grl at Fees Counter:
Bhaiya Meri le lo
Man: 2 min ruko Aram se le lunga
Grl: Are Jaldi le lo Fir nhi de paungi Mera Period Shuru hone wala hai!!:) GN
-----------------------------------
Cricketer describing a nude girl-There is no cover, there is no extra cover,there 2 silly points,2 fine legs and a deep gully,with little grass on the pitch.
------------------------------------
3 man talking 4 AIDS..
1.Mein to condom k bina karta nahi.
2.Mein to ungli may bhi pehenta hoon.
3.Mein to risk hi nahi leta padosi se hi karvata hoon
-------------------------------------
Rehne ki yaha sabki aukat nahi hoti
2-3 peg k bina yaha raat nahi hoti
Ye Delhi hai meri Jaan
Ishq, daru, cigaret, Bench*od Or Madarch*od k bina bat nahi hoti.
--------------------------------------
Teen Haqiqatien..
1) School ki ghanti
2) gareeb ka darwaja
3) aur ladki ki fudi

Jab bhi bajaoge andar se bache he nikalange.
-------------------------------
Pyaar humne b kiya tha,

Dil humne b diya tha...

Jab girlfriend ko L*UND Pakdaya.,

Woh Boli-

"Aur Koi Gift Do,
Pehle Wale Ne B Yahi Diya Tha.."
-------------------------------
Girls Aur Boys Ki Wo Kaun Si Jagah Hai Jaha Haddi Nahi Hoti..
'HONTH'
Kamino Kabhi lu*nd Aur ch*ut Se Bahar Bhi Nikal Aaya Karo.!

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xxxmsg

1 balatkari narak jata hai.
Yamraj-Ise oil me fry karo.
Aftr 4 hrs Yam-Ab tk fry nhi kiya?
Doot-Chulha jalane k liye b jhuko to Ye Ga*nd marna shuru kr deta hai.
----------------------------
Ghar ki bell baji.Gown pehni hui BV ne gate khola. Gate pe shohar ka dost tha. Dost ne pucha wo kaha hai. BV: naha rahe hai. Dost : aggar tum mujhe apna badan dikhaoge to me tumhe 5000 Rs doonga. BV ne 5000 lekar apna badan dikha diya. Dost ne phir kaha ki agar tum mere sath sex karo to me tume 6000Rs doonga. BV ne 6000 Rs lekar apni bachi ijjat bhi usko de di. Bathroom se nikalkar pati ne pööcha kon tha. BV ne kha apka koi dost jahagir tha.
Pati bola us har*amja*ade ne mujhse 11000 udhaar le rakhe the usne diye kya?
----------------------------
Gandhigiri Ki misal
ladki ka rappe hua

rappe k baad

Ladki ne karwat badli ar vinamrata se kaha-LO JI AGR AB KHADA HO TO PICHE ki B MAAR Lo.....
-----------------------------
Lady-Dr fu*di me makhi ghus gai!
Dr-main honey lagake pe*nis dalta hu nikal jayegi. Dr starts enjoying. Lady-wat r u doing?
Dr-plan changed, Andar hi mardunga..
------------------------------
A Dost tera nam kya rakhu
KHWAB rakha to tut jayega
DIL rakha to dard ban jayga
Chal tera naam LU*ND rakh deta hu
Sukh dukh me khada to ho jayega.
GO0D NIGHT..
--------------------------------
Samta Ku*tti se SEX Karne Laga Biwi ne Dekh liya..
Biwi-Kuchh to sharm Karo.
Santa-Sharm kis baat ki,
AB.... Tere chakar me purane sambandh to nhi tod sakta.!.

JOKE OF THE DAY

BABA CHO*DU DAS K UNSUNE UPDESH:
3 Cheeze Zindagi Me 1 Baar Milti He
(1)L*UND
(2)PAHLI CH*UDAI
(3)JAWANI
3 Cheeze Soch Samajh Kar Uthao
(1)L*ODA
(2)HATHODA
(3)DARU SANG SODA
3 Cheeze Soch Kar Karo
(1)PADOSAN SE CH*UDAI
(2)KHET ME KHUDAI
(3)DOST KI VIDAI
3 Cheeze Kisi Ka Intezar Nahi Karti
(1)RANDI KI CH*OOT
(2)BIGDA HUA BHOOT
(3)AATA HUA MOOT
3 Cheeze Choti Na Samjho
(1)SOYA L*UND
(2)AATI THUND
(3)JATI THUND
3 Cheeze hmesa dard deti hai.
(1)KUNWARI CH*OOT
(2)DAKU KI LOOT
(3)ATKA HUA MOOT
3 Cheeze hmesa apko khush rhekegi
(1)CH*ODAN KI KHUMARI
(2)BHOJAN KI TAIYARI
(3)MERI YARI..

.
Boyfriend ko aaya krodh.Usne di apni girlfriend ch*od.Wo bhi bina lagaye nirodh.Girlfrend kar na saki iska virodh.Aur Boli mujhe AIDS tha mad*archo*d
---------------------------
Grl- kaun ho tum ?
boy- hasrat tumari.

g- dekhte kya ho ?
b- surat tumari.

g- karte kya ho ?
b- pooja tumari.

g- kamate kya ho ?
b- ek nazar tumari.

g- chahte kya ho ?
b- mohabbat tumari.

g- pachtaoge !
b- kismat hamari.

g- mai shaadi-shuda hun!
b- maa ki ch*ut tumhari !!
---------------------------
How to recharge sex card ? scratch panty press nip*ple enter l*und and hear sound aah..your card recharged sucessfuLly balance 1child validity-9 months
---------------------------
Drink karo to ankhe lal , mehandi lagao to hath lal, kiss karo to lips lal, ch*ut maro to l*and lal, pakade gaye to g*@nd lal or bach gaye to jiyo mere lal.
----------------------------
A risky Questions:-
Agar 1 taraf sher khada ho..

Aur.,

Dusri taraf.,Mera khada ho.,to batao.,
tum kis ki taraf jaoge?
Ab hanso mat bolo,jaan pyari ya ga*and?
-------------------------------
Madam-chintu jb main pdhati hu to tm sar pr thook q lagate ho?
Chintu -madam vo meri mom raat ko papa se kehti hai ki agar ander nhi ghus raha to thook laga lo.
--------------------------------
Jabse Uski
Maari Hai.
Wah Wah
Pehle Sun To Le Bho*sdi ke
Jabse Uski
Mari Hai
Khoon Ka
Silsila Jari Hai
Tu
Chup Chap SMS Padh le
Aaj Raat Ko Teri Hi Bari Hai..
----------------------------
Father &son went 2 medical store.
Father buy a pack of Condoms.
Son- wats dis
Father- its medicine 4 killing rats.
Son- Oh bhench*od!
Ch*ut me bhi chuhe!
------------------------------
.Wife husband ka L*und pakar k boli Mere Laal mere sonay uth ja na! Husband,es ko ch*oot main lena hai ya school bhejna hai.

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XSMSX

Dil Uska Fir Dukha Dia Humne
Us Ko 1Bar Fir ULLU Bana Dia Hmne
Nam Bata K Usko LOLLIPOP Ka
"Andhere me dubara L*ODA" Chusa Dia Hamne..!!>>
----------------------------
Master:Tumne Homework Nahi Kiya,Batao Kya Saza Du?
BOY:Wo Ladki Jo Last Seat Pe Bethi Hai
Usne Bhi Nahi Kiya,
Hum Dono Ko Nanga Kar K Bathroom Me Band Kar Do :
-----------------------------
L*und ke bharose jiya nahi karte,

Ch*ut ke pyalo ko piya nhi karte,

Kuch dost bho*sdi ke aise b hote hai,

Jinki ga*and me ungli na karo to wo yaad kiya nhi karte
------------------------------
Ladka ladki sex kar rahe the.

Ladka bola:- Kya hum shadi kar le?

Ladki boli:- Mazdur ho mazduri karo factory ka malik banne ki koshish mat karo.
------------------------------
SEX k Waqt ladki ne apne legs faila k boyfriend se puchha: Hamare bachche ka naam kya hoga? BOY Condom pehen k bola: Is ke baad bhi hoga to "JAADU" rakhenge.
--------------------------
Man setting up password,,
Wife sitting besides.

He typed 'PE*NIS' as his password.

Wife fell-off her chair laughing when PC replied-

"Password too short..!!"

JOKE OF THE DAY

1 Pakistani Delhi aya or Taxi wale se mazaaq mai- yaar 1947 ke partition me mere abba India me apna L*UND bhul gye the tumko pta hai wo kahan milega?
Taxiwala- janab samne wale ghar me ek jhola rkha ha jisme wo sare lu*nd hai jo partition ke time yaha rah gye the, aap wo pura jhola le jao.
Jo LU*ND apki maa ki CH*OOT me fit aye wo rkh lena baki JUM*ME KI NA*MAJ me bant dena..

Ladki ki shadi hui,

saheli ne pucha kya hua,

ladki-choli uthi lehnga utha,

khul gayi dori daman ki,

us raat to main aisi ch*udi jaise lanka lut gayi Ravan ki
----------------------------
Arz kiya hai..
Ch*ud jati hain ladkiyan salwar utarne ke baad
aage
aage kya?
Wapas pahan leti hain salwar ch*ud jane ke baad.
Waah waah..!
-----------------------------
Samta CHOR ko pkd k bamta se: Iski G*AND maro,3 bar dala mgr andr ni gya.Santa:CHAKU lao or iski Ga*nd FAAD do.Chor(Ghabra k):1 bar "THUK" lga k try kar lo plz
------------------------------
Shuagrat me ldka kmre me aya dulhan se bola-jaldi kpde utaro.ldki ne utar diye. Ldka sex krne k bad bola-ab jldi kpde pahno,dulha aane wala h
------------------------------.
Boy fuc*king his neighbour girl. Girl-do u know u fu*ck better than ur father. Boy-i know ur mom also says so.
------------------------------
Kya tumm chhote bade ho sakte ho? Kya tumm moo se paani or malaye nikal sakte ho? Nahi na? Beta sirf shakl Lu*nd jaisi hone se koi LU*ND nahi bann jata..
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xx sms

Police inspector: Ja*tt ji, jis car ne aapko takkar mari uska rang aur no. kya tha?
Ja*tt: Rang aur no. to mujhe yaad nahi,
albatta us gaadi ko jo madam chala rahi thi,
uski shirt ke 2 button khule the,
laal bra dikh rahi thi,
mamme shayad 36 size ke the,
gale mein sone ka locket tha,
jo kabhi left mamme ko touch kar raha tha,
kabhi right ko,
hath mai Cell tha,
aur haan shriman, uske mamme pe ek til bhi tha..!

Baaki mera dhyan driving pe tha..
------------------------------
Madam Clas Me: Baccho, I 4 Ink J 4 Jug K 4 Kite L 4 L*und, Sorry Baccho Galti Se Muh Se Nikal Gya. Pappu: Koi Bat Nhi Mam Wapas Muh Me Le Lijiye
------------------------------
Duniya k 5 sabse muskil kaam:
1-cheeti ki ch*uchi dbana.
2-kutiya ko bra phnana.
3-machhar ko condom phnana.
4-giraf ki g*and marna.
5-murde ki mu*tth marna.
-------------------------------
Pehli Bar SEX Ke Bad LADKI Dar Ke Bathrum Me Jakar Rone Lagi.
Ladka: Q Ro Rahi Ho?
Ladki: Jab Andar Gaya 6 INCH Ka Tha Bahar 3 INCH Ka Aya,Baki Kaha Reh Gaya?
-------------------------------
Senior student :Koi aise gaali bana jo kisi ne suni na ho par sabse badi ho.
Junior:duniya ke saare l*und ek jhopde main aur vo jhopda teri maa ke bh*osde me.
-------------------------------.
Mirza Galib Ne Periods Wali Ch*ut Dekhi To Arz Kiya

Salwar Ke Niche Ke Hole Se Ris-Ris Ke Pani Lal Aata Hai

Ama Miya Kya Mohtarma Ka "BHO*SADA" B Paan Khata Hai

JOKE OF THE DAY

Raja Sahaab ke Marte Samay ki Nasihat:
To Son - Apne Rishte ki Aurton Se Jhuk Kar Mila Karo, taaki L*und Dur rahe.
To Daughter - Apni Bra Mein Thodi Rui Rakha Karo Taaki Nip*ple Nazar Na Aaye.
To Damaad - Barkhudar, Cho*dne aur Khodne Ka Farak Samjho. Cho*dne men Zor aur Khodne mein Shor, Tum Ulta karte ho.
To Bahu - Bahu Ga*and Marwaane se Bacche Paida Nahi hote, Aisa hota to Sab se Zyaada iss ke hote jo Abhi Ye Msg Padh ke khush ho raha hai...

100 ladko se sawal kiya gaya ki bra-panty kaisi acchi lagti hai,
44 ladko n kha Pink,
54 ladko n kha black,
2 apne jaise intlgnt ladko ne kaha UTRI HUI
---------------------------
Sweet inocent newly marid grl to hr husbnd-ek bt kanhu ap maroge to ni?
huby-no darln tel me
grl-i m... I m... I m pragnent
huby-ye to bot khushi ki bt h marunga kyn
grl inocently-pta ni pr shadi se pehle papa ko bola tha to unhone to bot mara tha.;)
dekha thi na inocent
----------------------------
Boy to Girl -aaj kal ladkiyo ki badi demand hai naa.
Girl-''ye demand aur bhi jyada hoti agar tum ladke ga*and na marwana chalu
karte............................
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xxx sms

Santa's father gave him a gun on wedding night & said: Fire in air if ur wife is virgin, shoot her if not.
Santa fired in air 1st night & shot her 2nd night.
---------------------------
BACHPN ME SEX KA NAAM SUNTE HI KAAN KHADE HO
JATE THE !
JAWANI ME LU*LLI,!
AUR,
BUDHAPE ME 'RONGTE',

MARD to MARD HAI,

KUCH NA KUCH KHADA KAR HI LETA HAI !.?
----------------------------
Mal*lika shrawat ghode pe baithi.
Ghodewala-Madam lgta H ghoda bhut khush Hai?
Mal*lika-Ghoda Ho Ya Loda ho,meri 2 tango k beech jo b aata hai khush hi rhta hai.
----------------------------
Dalo To Aisa Ki Kabhi Na Nikle

Tere dil se mera khayal JäNi

Tum Ne Auron K Bhi Pakde Honge Aj Mera Bhi Pakdo

Hath apne Hath me JäNi

Yad Hai Kaisa Chusaya Tha Tumko

Aam Ka Achar JäNi

Ab Jhuko To Dalu tujh me

Apna l*und Jani,

beta har bar mazak nhi hota... ;-)

JOKE OF THE DAY

One day a sad monkey wanted to end his life.
so,
he went up to a sleeping lion and put his finger in the lion's ass.
the lion woke up angry and roared,
Lion: Who did that?
Who has called for his death ?
Monkey: Its me.
Lion:Did anyone see you ?
Monkey:No.
Lion: Ok, do it again !.
Moral : Akele rah rah kar Jungle ka badshah bhi Gan*doo ho jata hai. So keep in touch.

Sarfira shayar ek shadi ki mehfil me DULHAN se:
"Naazo se pali ho sasural ja rahi ho"
Wah!! Wah!!
"Patak-patak k ch*odega mad*archod bekaar me muskra rahi ho.
---------------------------
Girls hostel ki light 3din se gayab.Tang aa kr mdam ne Elect.deprtmnt ko phone kiya aur kaha..3 din se ladkian mombati se kam chala rhi he,Aaj to aadmi bhej do.
---------------------------
Yamraj-Tum Narak Me ho
Pr Tmhare Papo Ki Saza Aisi Hogi Ki
Roj Raat 3Glass Daru Or 1Ladki Milegi

Man:WOW

Y:Glass Me Ched Hoga
Pr
Ladki Me Nahi!
---------------------------
Chintu - papa aaj Se school me 1 Period sex Education ka bhi Shuru ho gaya Hai
Dad - good... Lekin Tum Lu*LLI Kyo hila Rahe ho?
Chintu - Home work Mila hai
---------------------------
Hrami bacha dukndar se-suji h?
Dukndar-ha
Bacha-itni kyu marwai thi ki suj gayi.
Nxt day-Bacha-suji h? Dukndar-nahi h
Bacha dukan kya g*and marwane k lie kholi h

...............................................................

XSMSX

:"HONEYMOON"
H-hawas mita do
O-or chuso
N-n*anga karke
E-ek hi jhatke mein
Y-yeh gaya
M-mar dala
O-or dalo
O-or tez
N-ni..k..a.. l?g..a. y..a
---------------------------
3-3 saal ka ladka or ladki pani k tub me n*ange naha rahe the
Ldki boli mai teri su su pakad lu kya
Ldka bola bilkul nhi apni su su to tod di ab meri bhi todegi.
---------------------------
Jailer- Suna hai tum kavi ho.. Kuch sunao yaar..
Qaidi - "Gum-e-Ulfat me maar rahe ho jo Ga*and Hamari.
Jis Din Jamaanat hui Maa Cho*denge TumhAri...
---------------------------
Sachche dost ki 3 nishani..
Ek toh behench*od kabi phone nahi karega..
Dusra har kaam k liye haan bolega lekin madarch*od ek din ka kaam dus din mein bhi nahi karega..
Aur teesrA, ladkiyo ko senti-wale sms bhejega aur humein la*uda-lasun, cho*ot, tat*te, mo*me wale sms bhejega..
Waahh re sache dost.......
-----------------------------
Salim ne Anarkali ko suhagrat me kaha "Janeman,tere kadmo me rakh dunga sara Khazana"?Anarkli ?"Maa chu*dane gya tera khazana, andar daal aur shuru kar Bajaana.
-----------------------------
Boy: Love or Arrange marriage ma kiya faraq hai.....
GIRL: Love marriage mein pehle se size ka pata chal jata hai aur Arrange mein naseeb apna apna...!!:
-----------------------------

JOKE OF THE DAY

Raja ne Samdar ko Saza-e-Maut sunai aur 1 Murgi de k kaha: Tum isko jaise maroge Mai Tumko waise marunga

Samdar ne Murgi ki Mundi Apni G*and me dal k daba di..!

Cinema me bachcha roya
Piche se awaj ayi.
Madam iske muh me 1 chu*chi dedo.
Bachche ka Baap bola
kon hai Bho*sdi k
Piche se firawaz ayi
Dusri iske MUH me dedo
----------------------------
Mausam Badla aur
thand Ho Gayi,
Aapke Sms K Bina Zindagi jhand Ho Gayi,
Aap Hume Bhul Gaye Ho Kya Dost,
Ya phir g*and me Sms Ki khujli band Ho Gayi...!
-----------------------------
Techer k blouse me phool laga tha
Techer-Batao phool kya pite hai
Boy-DOODH
Techer-nahi pani pite hai
Boy-mem pata nahi tha iski dandi itne niche tak gai hai...
------------------------------
Master Ji= Rinku,
A,B,C,D se shuru hone wala 1 sentence banao.?
rinku= Sir....
...
....
Master Ji= ha ha batao ghabrao nahi.
rinku= Apki Behan Ch*od
Duga.!! Gd M
---------------------------------
Jab ladki ki suhag raat k baad uski saheli puchhti hai, kaisi rahi suhag raat?
To vo batati hai-
"Aaye the wo der se, dil jala diya,
Pahle kiye kiwad band,
Fir deepak bhuja diya.
Pahle khel khelne lage seena tatolkar, fir khel khelne lage kapde khol kar.
Ek jang aisi chhidi palang par,
gole wali top rakh di surang per,
yeh tha 9 minute ka maja,
ab bhog rahi hu 9 mahine ki saja.
9 mahine baad 1 aisa hoga visfot,
jo ban jayga bharat k liye 1 aur vote..
-----------------------------------
Jawani tere LU*ND pe is tarah aayi.
.
wah! wah!
.
saalo sunn to lo...
.
Jawani tere Lu*ND pe is tarah aayi..
.
Kuttiya ki GA*AND me b tujhe CH*UT Nazar aayi...!
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hot xxx sms

Flight me pilot ne announce kia: 'hum ek ghante me land karne wale hain.'
Fir wo mic band karna bhool gaya aur co-pilot se bola: 'ab to bas ek garam chai piyunga,
fir air hostess ko apna l*nd chusa kar aadhe ghante tak cho*dunga.!'
Air hostess ye sun kar mic band karwane ke liye bhaagi,
aur 1 uncle ke pair me fas kar gir gayi.
Uncle bole: Tujhe badi jaldi hai chu*dne ki,
suna nahi pehle woh chai piyega
----------------------------
Q: Who is a gynocologist?
Ans: The biggest Fool on Earth who finds problem in the place where others find pleasure...
----------------------------
GIRL:Doctor lagta h mere boo*bs me pani bhar gaya h
DOCTOR:kaise pata chala
Girl:Jab koi mere Boo*bs dabata h
to meri Panty gili ho jati h..
----------------------------
Boy: ladkiyan jab susu karte hai tou shiiki awaz kyun aati hai???
Girl; kyun ki unko ladko ki tarah 6 inch ka silencer nahin hota hai.
----------------------------
Adalat me 1 vakil buddhe aadmi se: Tumne is ladki ko baho me Q pakda?
Buddha-Huzur Bahut thand lag Rahi thi or ladki ki
T-shirt pe likha tha.
"I am HOT.
----------------------------
G*andu 1 sher sun
2 meel se agr hojaye teri g*and ka Didar
Wa wa mt kar G*andu
2 meel se agar hojaye teri ga*nd ka Didar
L*and aise Bhage jaise Karizma ZMR..
---------------------------

xxx sms OF THE DAY

Wife to Dr- Mera pati 300% napunsak hai
Dr-300% kaise?
Wife- Ek to khada nahi hota,Dusra ungli tuti hui he,Tisra kal garam daal kha ke apni jeebh bhi jala li.

Apple= Vitamins
Vitamins=Power
Power=Work
Work=Money
Money=Women
Women=Sex
Sex=Aids
Aids=Death
Aur kha le
Apple bho*sdi k.
---------------------------
1 Aadmi jor-2 se chilla raha tha
Jannat ka parda 20Rs. me
Jannat ka parda 20Rs. me
Bheed lag gayi,
Logo ne pas jakar dekha~
Sa*la
*PANTY bech raha tha*
----------------------------
Saas:Aane do mere bete ko, usey beth kar samjhaungi tumari kartut
Bahu:Koi faida nahi
Saas:Kyu?
Bahu: Q k tum BAITH k samjhaogi aur main LET ke?
-----------------------------
1 Ldki film dekh kr Galti s boys hostl chali gai,Agle din saheli ne pucha kaunsi film dekhi?Pahle Rb N Bana Di Jodi
Phir Sb N bana di Gho*di
-----------------------------
Sam ki G*and me funsi Nikal aayi.
Wo Shisha lagakar dekh Raha tha Tabhi uska l*und khada ho gaya.
Sam: Baith ja bh*osdi k Apni-parai me to fark kar lia kar.
------------------------------
F*k is the only word which can be used to express many feelings..
Revenge - F*ck you.
Request - Pls F*ck off!
Failure - Im fucked!
Anxiety - What the f*k is happening?
Anger - Get the f*k out of here.
Curious - how the f*k did you do that?
Love - Just f*king beautiful!
Lust - ah f*k me baby!
Pride - Im a f*king genius!
Victory - I hav won that f*king competition.
Sad - Why the f*k does this happen to me?
So enjoy f*king in evry emotion.
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X RATED

Ek Ladki ka Mangetar mar Gaya..
Ladki Rote Huye Boli..
"Abi to kuch Dekha bhi Nahi Tha"
Santa Ne hosla Diya..
"Abi Thodi Der mein Nehlayenge tab Dekh Lena".
----------------------------
Baba R**amdev Blue film dkhte hue has pade.
Bhakt: Baba aap kyu hanse? R***amdev: saala 20saal me khada hua hai.
Bhakt : Baba apne mera pakda hua hai.
----------------------------
1Baba fati dhoti pahen k mandir me puja k liye jhuka ek admi ne g*and ko daan peti samaj kar 1 ka sikka daal diya Baba palat ke bola ghanta bhi bajale mad*arch*od
----------------------------
Ek admi pdosi ki charpai lene gya.
Pdosi-hmare pas 2charpai h.
1pe mai or mera baap sote h,dusri pe maa or wife.
Padosi-Salo charpai mat do pr sona to Shiklo,
-----------------------------
Ek Admi M*uth Mar RahaTha, Achank Biwi Aa Gayi
Biwi : Kya ho raha Hai ?
Aadmi : BANSURI Baja Raha Tha. Biwi : Ch*utiye, g*andu Mera SHANKH kya Padosi bajayga.

JOKE OF THE DAY

Wo Geele-Blouse se Jhalakte Maal ke UBHAAR,
Wo Tane hue NI*PPLE bahar ane ko bekarar.
Geeli Saree se jhalakti P*ANTY aar-par,
Mubark ho apko HOLI ka YE tyohar

D0UBLE MEANING ki inteha:
Dad apne bete pappu ka result lene school gaye.
Dad-Madam, kab dogi? kafi der se Pappu KHADA hai.
Madam-Period to khatam hone do.
---------------------------
8SAAL KA BOY RAPE Case Me Pkda Gya Court Me Lady Vakil Uska Chota Sa Susu Pakad K Boli-JAJ Sab Dekho Kya isse Rape Hoga
Boy Bola HILA MAT SAALI case Har jayegi
---------------------------
P*athan pani me l*und daalkr betha tha
Wyf-ye Kya kr rhe ho
Pthan-ma ki l*odi chup beth 3din se l*und tight nhi ho rha dekh rha hu kahi punchar to Nhi.
---------------------------
JACKY wife se~ Oye Tere boobs raton-raat ittey vadde kaise ho gaye?
aur nipples gayab?
Wife ~ O ji ,tusi aaj fir daru pe ke g*and choos rahe ho.
---------------------------
Bijlee ki Taar aur ladki me kya similarity hai??
GUess
Not Sure??
Oh come on yaar Simple "Dono n*angi ho to Jaan nikaal deti hai.
---------------------------
Ek baniya do din me ek baar s*ex karta tha.. Uska frnd bola tum har roz s*ex kyun nahi karte..Baniya bola kya karen ek din to condom sukhane me lag jaave hai.
---------------------------
Great Sex Philosopher once said..
"MARD Ki Taqat Ka Andaza uss Ke Zor Se Nahi ,
Ladki Ke Shor Se Hota Hai..."
----------------------------
Wife! Zara dheere karo na kyon shatabdi chala rahe ho,malgadi chalao.itne me beta bed se gira aur bola! Bhen*ch*odo jo marzi chalao par sawari ko to mat girao.
----------------------------
Best double meaning sentence
LADY-Saari me agar chhed dikha to sari wapas kar dungi
DUKANDAR-Madam,aap "Chhed" dikhao to sahi, sari free me de dunga..
----------------------------
A famous sex therapist was once asked: "Doctor, why do men always want to marry a VIRGIN"?
Sex Therapist: "TO AVOID CRITICISM AND COMPARISON"
----------------------------
L*UND Complans To God
Log Mera Missuse Krte Hai
Koi G*AND Me
Koi C*HUT Me
Koi MUH Me
Koi HATH Se
God-Sb Thik Ho Jayega
Bus Tu AKADA Mat kar..
-----------------------------
mUNNi: Aaj tum mere sath aisa sex karo ke bas meri cheekhein hi nikal jaye
Bas phir kya tha
JACKY condom pe mirchi laga k chodne laga..
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xx smsing

Patni: Darling..
Tum Kabhi Meri or Mere gharwalo ki tarif nahi karte..!
Pati:
Teri CH*UT,
Teri maa ki ch*ut,
Or
sabse badiya
teri Behan Ki C*HUT...ab khush
----------------------------
Pehli bar Jija shadi k bad sasural aya
biwi ki chhoti bahen khidki se dekh bole-Lo aa gaya Bhench*od.
Ma-Aisa nhi kehte
Wo boli-Rishta vahi
soch nayi.
----------------------------
Tchr- bccho aj hum grammer pdnge
1 aurat 1 khidki se jhank rhi h
boy-ye ekvachan hua
Tchr- bahut si aurte khidkiyo se jhank rhi h.
Boy- ye to GB ROAD hua.
-----------------------------
R*andi ki kahani usi ki zubani :-
Mai aayi delhi saher mai,logo ne muje dekha logo ne muje ghura,na chahte hue bi dood pi gaye pura.
Ek ldka aya aur usne mera naam bol diya,mai kuch kehti usne pehle mera bl*ous khol diya.
Usne pehni shirt bahut achi aur dusre hi pal uske hath me meri kachi.
Uske bed pe chadar rang birangi ti aur kuch hi pal me puri nangi ti.
Uske pas na koi sawdhani na koi nir*odh tha,bas muje isi bat ka virodh tha.
Me darti rahi aur karti rahi,
Ch*udne se pehle jitna khil khila rahi thi,bed pe utna hi chila rahi thi.
L*und uska meri c*hut ki wadiyo me kho gaya
laga jaise koi rajai takia leke so gaya.
C*hut ko usne meri pura phad diya,kuch hi der mai uske andar jhad diya.
Uska l*und nahi hathi ka l*oda tha,par mai to profsional hu mere liya wo bahut thoda tha.
Usne bina condom ke muje c*hod diya laga jaise bina phawde ke ghadda khod diya.
L*und dala raha aur subah ho gayi,maine liye paise aur dafa ho gayi..!!

JOKE OF THE DAY

Teacher:1 Savaal.
Ek dal par 5 Chidiya baithi ho aur Tumne unme se 1 ko pathhar mar k gira dia To kitni Chidiya bachegi.?
Pappu: Koi nahi,Sab Ud jayengi.
Teacher: Nahi,4 bachegi Par tumhari soch mujhe Pasand ayi.
Pappu: Mam Mera bhi Sawal he 3 Ladkiya IceCream kha rahi he.
1st CHAAT K 2nd KAAT K Aur 3rd
CHoooooooS k.
Konsi Shadi shuda he.?
Teacher(Sharma k) jo CHooooS rahi he.
Pappu: Ji nahi Jiske GALE me MANGALSUTRA he,Par apki Soch mujhe b Pasand aayi.

Dosti BO*OBS Nahi Jo Dab Jaye,
Dosti L*UND Nahi Jo Thak Jaye,
Dosti GA*AND Nahi Jo Fatt Jaye,
Dosti To C*HUT Hai Mere Dost..
Jo waqt k sath GEHRI hoti jaye .
--------------------------------
lady 2 jyotishi --kya mere hath mai daulat ki lakeer hai?
jyotishi-- actualy apke paas daulat ki 2 lakeere hai ---
1 aage
1 peechhe
ab apki marzi jis se chaho daulat kamao.
---------------------------------
while f*ucking
girl started shouting PEPSI PEPSI
Boy asked whats PEPSI ?
she replied
"P" -Plz
"E"-Enter ur
"P" -P*enis
"S"-Slowly
"I"-Inside.
----------------------------------
Be-aulad Aurat par Hakim chada hua tha, aur hakim k upper aurat ka pati.
kisi ne puchha:Ye kya ?
Hakim:check kar raha hu ki kharabi aurat me hai ya mard mai .
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XXX SMSING

F*uck is d only word which can be used 2 xpress many feelings..
Revenge - Fk you.
Request - Pls Fk off!
Failure - Im fked!
Anxiety - What the fk is happening?
Anger - Get the f*uck out of here.
Curious - how the f*uck did you do that?
Love - Just f*ucking beautiful!
Lust - ah f*uck me baby! Pride - Im a f*ucking genius!
Victory - I hav won that f*ucking competition.
Sad - Why the f*uck does this happen to me?
So enjoy f*ucking in evry emotion.
-------------------------------
Santa:Ye kon sa station hai?
Boy on platfarm: Teri maa ki ch*oot, bho*sadi k niche aake dekhle, bhen ka l*oda nawab ban raha hai.
Santa: Chalo bhai, Delhi aa gya..
---------------------------------
Sex ke baad LADKI ka pehla sabad kya hota hai?
"I LOVE U"
Nahi
"MAZA AAYA"
Nahi
"HOW ROMANTIC"
Nahi
The right ans. is
Jaanu,meri "PANTY" kidhar fenki
------------------------------

JOKE OF THE DAY

3 Kamini ladkiya apni khwahishe bata rahi thi.
Pehli:-Mere 2 husbnd hon jo sari raat mujhe bjaye.
Dosri :-Mere 4 husbnd ho jo din raat ki shift lagaye.
Teesri :-Mera ek hi shohar ho.
Uska chota sa l*und ho.
Us se mera ek beta ho,
Jo bada hoke Yuv*raj bane.
Worldcup ka Final ho,
Last ball par 2 runs ki zarorat ho,
Aur wo out ho jaye.
110 Crore logon ki awaaz aaye..
"maa ch*od do iski"
aur main pitch par jakar bolu-
Main Hoon Iski Maa....!!

Yamraj Hizde Se: Lao Apna Hisaab-Kitaab Do,
Duniya Me Kya-Kya Kar Ke Aaye Ho ?
Hizda: BHEN K LO*UDE,Bho*sdi K...
De K Kya Bheja Tha, Jo Hisab Mang Rha Hai.
-------------------------------
Pati patni train me upar ki birth pe..
Pati : jab me bolu coca cola, tub tu kapde utar dena.
Jab me bolu pepsi, tu apne tange khol dena
or jab tu bolegi Thumsup to me andar dal dunga..
Niche baitha sardar bola..
"agar limca mere upar giri to tumhari..
MAA CH*OD DUNGA."
--------------------------------
Aapke jaisa dost khone nahi dunga,
Aapko Mujhse alag hone nahi dunga.
Roz sms kiya karo Warna....
Ga*and me Mirchi dalunga aur dhone bhi nahi dunga!!
---------------------------------
Dulha Suhagrat pe Dulhan se-
Is ghar me rehna hai to Kanjoosi karni hogi.
Dulhan:
Ji Fir itna tel kyu
laga rahe ho,college Me to Mai thook Se kaam chalati thi.
------------------------------
The pure Urdu name for condom:
Ghilaaf-e-auzaar-e-mazaa-e-mohabbat bandish-e-izaafaa-e-nasal.
Kuch tamiz seekh lo nalayako.
Fugga-fugga karte rehte ho !!!
------------------------------
Man setting up password,,
Wife sitting besides.
He typed 'P*ENIS' as his password.
Wife fell-off her chair laughing when PC replied-
"Password too short..!!
-------------------------------
KASHTI se
Kinare
CHOOT gaye
ASMA se
Sitare
TOOT gaye
Par tum
nahi Sudhre
Jahan Dikhi
DIWAR,Wahi
MOOT gaye.
,,,
( ".)
< )', - - .
LL '. ....... .
--------------------------------
Ek Army Ka Jawan Apni Suhagrat Me M*uth Marne Laga,
Wife:Ye Kya Kar Rahe Ho?
Jawan:Hamley Se Pehle Hawa Me Firing Karna Humari Style Hai..
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