This site IS NO.1 @ GOOGLE SEARCH ENGINE. SEARCH WORD IS "XXX SMS" IT OUTSHINES OTHER .COM SITES IN FEW MONTHS N BECOME NO.1 @GOOGLE SEARCH.TO ENABLE EMBEDDED FUNNY VIDEO N PICS LOG IN TO UR FACEBOOK ACCOUNT THEN OPEN THE SITE IN SAME BROWSER OR IN NEW TAB.THEN CLICK ON NEXT BELOW THE PAGE TO GO TO NEXT PAGE. This site is dedicated to college students mostly Engg. students who collectd these sms n edited abusive words so ppl use their imagination to get what it means.we cant escape from the magic of sms.We get sms from our loving ones everyday.Sms indicates our frnz r thinkin about us.They smsin their laughter moments to us so we can also laugh.This site will try its best to provide highly popular new sms which is in demand.so enjoy reading sms...........
Disclaimer:This site is meant for fun only..we respect every religion,caste etc.Every precaution is taken while editing these sms if still hurts we extremely sorry..
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Saturday, March 19, 2011
X RATED
Ek Ladki ka Mangetar mar Gaya..
Ladki Rote Huye Boli..
"Abi to kuch Dekha bhi Nahi Tha"
Santa Ne hosla Diya..
"Abi Thodi Der mein Nehlayenge tab Dekh Lena".
----------------------------
Baba R**amdev Blue film dkhte hue has pade.
Bhakt: Baba aap kyu hanse? R***amdev: saala 20saal me khada hua hai.
Bhakt : Baba apne mera pakda hua hai.
----------------------------
1Baba fati dhoti pahen k mandir me puja k liye jhuka ek admi ne g*and ko daan peti samaj kar 1 ka sikka daal diya Baba palat ke bola ghanta bhi bajale mad*arch*od
----------------------------
Ek admi pdosi ki charpai lene gya.
Pdosi-hmare pas 2charpai h.
1pe mai or mera baap sote h,dusri pe maa or wife.
Padosi-Salo charpai mat do pr sona to Shiklo,
-----------------------------
Ek Admi M*uth Mar RahaTha, Achank Biwi Aa Gayi
Biwi : Kya ho raha Hai ?
Aadmi : BANSURI Baja Raha Tha. Biwi : Ch*utiye, g*andu Mera SHANKH kya Padosi bajayga.
Wo Geele-Blouse se Jhalakte Maal ke UBHAAR,
Wo Tane hue NI*PPLE bahar ane ko bekarar.
Geeli Saree se jhalakti P*ANTY aar-par,
Mubark ho apko HOLI ka YE tyohar
D0UBLE MEANING ki inteha:
Dad apne bete pappu ka result lene school gaye.
Dad-Madam, kab dogi? kafi der se Pappu KHADA hai.
Madam-Period to khatam hone do.
---------------------------
8SAAL KA BOY RAPE Case Me Pkda Gya Court Me Lady Vakil Uska Chota Sa Susu Pakad K Boli-JAJ Sab Dekho Kya isse Rape Hoga
Boy Bola HILA MAT SAALI case Har jayegi
---------------------------
P*athan pani me l*und daalkr betha tha
Wyf-ye Kya kr rhe ho
Pthan-ma ki l*odi chup beth 3din se l*und tight nhi ho rha dekh rha hu kahi punchar to Nhi.
---------------------------
JACKY wife se~ Oye Tere boobs raton-raat ittey vadde kaise ho gaye?
aur nipples gayab?
Wife ~ O ji ,tusi aaj fir daru pe ke g*and choos rahe ho.
---------------------------
Bijlee ki Taar aur ladki me kya similarity hai??
GUess
Not Sure??
Oh come on yaar Simple "Dono n*angi ho to Jaan nikaal deti hai.
---------------------------
Ek baniya do din me ek baar s*ex karta tha.. Uska frnd bola tum har roz s*ex kyun nahi karte..Baniya bola kya karen ek din to condom sukhane me lag jaave hai.
---------------------------
Great Sex Philosopher once said..
"MARD Ki Taqat Ka Andaza uss Ke Zor Se Nahi ,
Ladki Ke Shor Se Hota Hai..."
----------------------------
Wife! Zara dheere karo na kyon shatabdi chala rahe ho,malgadi chalao.itne me beta bed se gira aur bola! Bhen*ch*odo jo marzi chalao par sawari ko to mat girao.
----------------------------
Best double meaning sentence
LADY-Saari me agar chhed dikha to sari wapas kar dungi
DUKANDAR-Madam,aap "Chhed" dikhao to sahi, sari free me de dunga..
----------------------------
A famous sex therapist was once asked: "Doctor, why do men always want to marry a VIRGIN"?
Sex Therapist: "TO AVOID CRITICISM AND COMPARISON"
----------------------------
L*UND Complans To God
Log Mera Missuse Krte Hai
Koi G*AND Me
Koi C*HUT Me
Koi MUH Me
Koi HATH Se
God-Sb Thik Ho Jayega
Bus Tu AKADA Mat kar..
-----------------------------
mUNNi: Aaj tum mere sath aisa sex karo ke bas meri cheekhein hi nikal jaye
Bas phir kya tha
JACKY condom pe mirchi laga k chodne laga..
Previous............................................................... Next
Ladki Rote Huye Boli..
"Abi to kuch Dekha bhi Nahi Tha"
Santa Ne hosla Diya..
"Abi Thodi Der mein Nehlayenge tab Dekh Lena".
----------------------------
Baba R**amdev Blue film dkhte hue has pade.
Bhakt: Baba aap kyu hanse? R***amdev: saala 20saal me khada hua hai.
Bhakt : Baba apne mera pakda hua hai.
----------------------------
1Baba fati dhoti pahen k mandir me puja k liye jhuka ek admi ne g*and ko daan peti samaj kar 1 ka sikka daal diya Baba palat ke bola ghanta bhi bajale mad*arch*od
----------------------------
Ek admi pdosi ki charpai lene gya.
Pdosi-hmare pas 2charpai h.
1pe mai or mera baap sote h,dusri pe maa or wife.
Padosi-Salo charpai mat do pr sona to Shiklo,
-----------------------------
Ek Admi M*uth Mar RahaTha, Achank Biwi Aa Gayi
Biwi : Kya ho raha Hai ?
Aadmi : BANSURI Baja Raha Tha. Biwi : Ch*utiye, g*andu Mera SHANKH kya Padosi bajayga.
JOKE OF THE DAY
Wo Geele-Blouse se Jhalakte Maal ke UBHAAR,
Wo Tane hue NI*PPLE bahar ane ko bekarar.
Geeli Saree se jhalakti P*ANTY aar-par,
Mubark ho apko HOLI ka YE tyohar
D0UBLE MEANING ki inteha:
Dad apne bete pappu ka result lene school gaye.
Dad-Madam, kab dogi? kafi der se Pappu KHADA hai.
Madam-Period to khatam hone do.
---------------------------
8SAAL KA BOY RAPE Case Me Pkda Gya Court Me Lady Vakil Uska Chota Sa Susu Pakad K Boli-JAJ Sab Dekho Kya isse Rape Hoga
Boy Bola HILA MAT SAALI case Har jayegi
---------------------------
P*athan pani me l*und daalkr betha tha
Wyf-ye Kya kr rhe ho
Pthan-ma ki l*odi chup beth 3din se l*und tight nhi ho rha dekh rha hu kahi punchar to Nhi.
---------------------------
JACKY wife se~ Oye Tere boobs raton-raat ittey vadde kaise ho gaye?
aur nipples gayab?
Wife ~ O ji ,tusi aaj fir daru pe ke g*and choos rahe ho.
---------------------------
Bijlee ki Taar aur ladki me kya similarity hai??
GUess
Not Sure??
Oh come on yaar Simple "Dono n*angi ho to Jaan nikaal deti hai.
---------------------------
Ek baniya do din me ek baar s*ex karta tha.. Uska frnd bola tum har roz s*ex kyun nahi karte..Baniya bola kya karen ek din to condom sukhane me lag jaave hai.
---------------------------
Great Sex Philosopher once said..
"MARD Ki Taqat Ka Andaza uss Ke Zor Se Nahi ,
Ladki Ke Shor Se Hota Hai..."
----------------------------
Wife! Zara dheere karo na kyon shatabdi chala rahe ho,malgadi chalao.itne me beta bed se gira aur bola! Bhen*ch*odo jo marzi chalao par sawari ko to mat girao.
----------------------------
Best double meaning sentence
LADY-Saari me agar chhed dikha to sari wapas kar dungi
DUKANDAR-Madam,aap "Chhed" dikhao to sahi, sari free me de dunga..
----------------------------
A famous sex therapist was once asked: "Doctor, why do men always want to marry a VIRGIN"?
Sex Therapist: "TO AVOID CRITICISM AND COMPARISON"
----------------------------
L*UND Complans To God
Log Mera Missuse Krte Hai
Koi G*AND Me
Koi C*HUT Me
Koi MUH Me
Koi HATH Se
God-Sb Thik Ho Jayega
Bus Tu AKADA Mat kar..
-----------------------------
mUNNi: Aaj tum mere sath aisa sex karo ke bas meri cheekhein hi nikal jaye
Bas phir kya tha
JACKY condom pe mirchi laga k chodne laga..
Previous............................................................... Next
Sunday, March 13, 2011
xx smsing
Patni: Darling..
Tum Kabhi Meri or Mere gharwalo ki tarif nahi karte..!
Pati:
Teri CH*UT,
Teri maa ki ch*ut,
Or
sabse badiya
teri Behan Ki C*HUT...ab khush
----------------------------
Pehli bar Jija shadi k bad sasural aya
biwi ki chhoti bahen khidki se dekh bole-Lo aa gaya Bhench*od.
Ma-Aisa nhi kehte
Wo boli-Rishta vahi
soch nayi.
----------------------------
Tchr- bccho aj hum grammer pdnge
1 aurat 1 khidki se jhank rhi h
boy-ye ekvachan hua
Tchr- bahut si aurte khidkiyo se jhank rhi h.
Boy- ye to GB ROAD hua.
-----------------------------
R*andi ki kahani usi ki zubani :-
Mai aayi delhi saher mai,logo ne muje dekha logo ne muje ghura,na chahte hue bi dood pi gaye pura.
Ek ldka aya aur usne mera naam bol diya,mai kuch kehti usne pehle mera bl*ous khol diya.
Usne pehni shirt bahut achi aur dusre hi pal uske hath me meri kachi.
Uske bed pe chadar rang birangi ti aur kuch hi pal me puri nangi ti.
Uske pas na koi sawdhani na koi nir*odh tha,bas muje isi bat ka virodh tha.
Me darti rahi aur karti rahi,
Ch*udne se pehle jitna khil khila rahi thi,bed pe utna hi chila rahi thi.
L*und uska meri c*hut ki wadiyo me kho gaya
laga jaise koi rajai takia leke so gaya.
C*hut ko usne meri pura phad diya,kuch hi der mai uske andar jhad diya.
Uska l*und nahi hathi ka l*oda tha,par mai to profsional hu mere liya wo bahut thoda tha.
Usne bina condom ke muje c*hod diya laga jaise bina phawde ke ghadda khod diya.
L*und dala raha aur subah ho gayi,maine liye paise aur dafa ho gayi..!!
Teacher:1 Savaal.
Ek dal par 5 Chidiya baithi ho aur Tumne unme se 1 ko pathhar mar k gira dia To kitni Chidiya bachegi.?
Pappu: Koi nahi,Sab Ud jayengi.
Teacher: Nahi,4 bachegi Par tumhari soch mujhe Pasand ayi.
Pappu: Mam Mera bhi Sawal he 3 Ladkiya IceCream kha rahi he.
1st CHAAT K 2nd KAAT K Aur 3rd
CHoooooooS k.
Konsi Shadi shuda he.?
Teacher(Sharma k) jo CHooooS rahi he.
Pappu: Ji nahi Jiske GALE me MANGALSUTRA he,Par apki Soch mujhe b Pasand aayi.
Dosti BO*OBS Nahi Jo Dab Jaye,
Dosti L*UND Nahi Jo Thak Jaye,
Dosti GA*AND Nahi Jo Fatt Jaye,
Dosti To C*HUT Hai Mere Dost..
Jo waqt k sath GEHRI hoti jaye .
--------------------------------
lady 2 jyotishi --kya mere hath mai daulat ki lakeer hai?
jyotishi-- actualy apke paas daulat ki 2 lakeere hai ---
1 aage
1 peechhe
ab apki marzi jis se chaho daulat kamao.
---------------------------------
while f*ucking
girl started shouting PEPSI PEPSI
Boy asked whats PEPSI ?
she replied
"P" -Plz
"E"-Enter ur
"P" -P*enis
"S"-Slowly
"I"-Inside.
----------------------------------
Be-aulad Aurat par Hakim chada hua tha, aur hakim k upper aurat ka pati.
kisi ne puchha:Ye kya ?
Hakim:check kar raha hu ki kharabi aurat me hai ya mard mai .
Previous............................................................... Next
Tum Kabhi Meri or Mere gharwalo ki tarif nahi karte..!
Pati:
Teri CH*UT,
Teri maa ki ch*ut,
Or
sabse badiya
teri Behan Ki C*HUT...ab khush
----------------------------
Pehli bar Jija shadi k bad sasural aya
biwi ki chhoti bahen khidki se dekh bole-Lo aa gaya Bhench*od.
Ma-Aisa nhi kehte
Wo boli-Rishta vahi
soch nayi.
----------------------------
Tchr- bccho aj hum grammer pdnge
1 aurat 1 khidki se jhank rhi h
boy-ye ekvachan hua
Tchr- bahut si aurte khidkiyo se jhank rhi h.
Boy- ye to GB ROAD hua.
-----------------------------
R*andi ki kahani usi ki zubani :-
Mai aayi delhi saher mai,logo ne muje dekha logo ne muje ghura,na chahte hue bi dood pi gaye pura.
Ek ldka aya aur usne mera naam bol diya,mai kuch kehti usne pehle mera bl*ous khol diya.
Usne pehni shirt bahut achi aur dusre hi pal uske hath me meri kachi.
Uske bed pe chadar rang birangi ti aur kuch hi pal me puri nangi ti.
Uske pas na koi sawdhani na koi nir*odh tha,bas muje isi bat ka virodh tha.
Me darti rahi aur karti rahi,
Ch*udne se pehle jitna khil khila rahi thi,bed pe utna hi chila rahi thi.
L*und uska meri c*hut ki wadiyo me kho gaya
laga jaise koi rajai takia leke so gaya.
C*hut ko usne meri pura phad diya,kuch hi der mai uske andar jhad diya.
Uska l*und nahi hathi ka l*oda tha,par mai to profsional hu mere liya wo bahut thoda tha.
Usne bina condom ke muje c*hod diya laga jaise bina phawde ke ghadda khod diya.
L*und dala raha aur subah ho gayi,maine liye paise aur dafa ho gayi..!!
JOKE OF THE DAY
Teacher:1 Savaal.
Ek dal par 5 Chidiya baithi ho aur Tumne unme se 1 ko pathhar mar k gira dia To kitni Chidiya bachegi.?
Pappu: Koi nahi,Sab Ud jayengi.
Teacher: Nahi,4 bachegi Par tumhari soch mujhe Pasand ayi.
Pappu: Mam Mera bhi Sawal he 3 Ladkiya IceCream kha rahi he.
1st CHAAT K 2nd KAAT K Aur 3rd
CHoooooooS k.
Konsi Shadi shuda he.?
Teacher(Sharma k) jo CHooooS rahi he.
Pappu: Ji nahi Jiske GALE me MANGALSUTRA he,Par apki Soch mujhe b Pasand aayi.
Dosti BO*OBS Nahi Jo Dab Jaye,
Dosti L*UND Nahi Jo Thak Jaye,
Dosti GA*AND Nahi Jo Fatt Jaye,
Dosti To C*HUT Hai Mere Dost..
Jo waqt k sath GEHRI hoti jaye .
--------------------------------
lady 2 jyotishi --kya mere hath mai daulat ki lakeer hai?
jyotishi-- actualy apke paas daulat ki 2 lakeere hai ---
1 aage
1 peechhe
ab apki marzi jis se chaho daulat kamao.
---------------------------------
while f*ucking
girl started shouting PEPSI PEPSI
Boy asked whats PEPSI ?
she replied
"P" -Plz
"E"-Enter ur
"P" -P*enis
"S"-Slowly
"I"-Inside.
----------------------------------
Be-aulad Aurat par Hakim chada hua tha, aur hakim k upper aurat ka pati.
kisi ne puchha:Ye kya ?
Hakim:check kar raha hu ki kharabi aurat me hai ya mard mai .
Previous............................................................... Next
XXX SMSING
F*uck is d only word which can be used 2 xpress many feelings..
Revenge - Fk you.
Request - Pls Fk off!
Failure - Im fked!
Anxiety - What the fk is happening?
Anger - Get the f*uck out of here.
Curious - how the f*uck did you do that?
Love - Just f*ucking beautiful!
Lust - ah f*uck me baby! Pride - Im a f*ucking genius!
Victory - I hav won that f*ucking competition.
Sad - Why the f*uck does this happen to me?
So enjoy f*ucking in evry emotion.
-------------------------------
Santa:Ye kon sa station hai?
Boy on platfarm: Teri maa ki ch*oot, bho*sadi k niche aake dekhle, bhen ka l*oda nawab ban raha hai.
Santa: Chalo bhai, Delhi aa gya..
---------------------------------
Sex ke baad LADKI ka pehla sabad kya hota hai?
"I LOVE U"
Nahi
"MAZA AAYA"
Nahi
"HOW ROMANTIC"
Nahi
The right ans. is
Jaanu,meri "PANTY" kidhar fenki
------------------------------
3 Kamini ladkiya apni khwahishe bata rahi thi.
Pehli:-Mere 2 husbnd hon jo sari raat mujhe bjaye.
Dosri :-Mere 4 husbnd ho jo din raat ki shift lagaye.
Teesri :-Mera ek hi shohar ho.
Uska chota sa l*und ho.
Us se mera ek beta ho,
Jo bada hoke Yuv*raj bane.
Worldcup ka Final ho,
Last ball par 2 runs ki zarorat ho,
Aur wo out ho jaye.
110 Crore logon ki awaaz aaye..
"maa ch*od do iski"
aur main pitch par jakar bolu-
Main Hoon Iski Maa....!!
Yamraj Hizde Se: Lao Apna Hisaab-Kitaab Do,
Duniya Me Kya-Kya Kar Ke Aaye Ho ?
Hizda: BHEN K LO*UDE,Bho*sdi K...
De K Kya Bheja Tha, Jo Hisab Mang Rha Hai.
-------------------------------
Pati patni train me upar ki birth pe..
Pati : jab me bolu coca cola, tub tu kapde utar dena.
Jab me bolu pepsi, tu apne tange khol dena
or jab tu bolegi Thumsup to me andar dal dunga..
Niche baitha sardar bola..
"agar limca mere upar giri to tumhari..
MAA CH*OD DUNGA."
--------------------------------
Aapke jaisa dost khone nahi dunga,
Aapko Mujhse alag hone nahi dunga.
Roz sms kiya karo Warna....
Ga*and me Mirchi dalunga aur dhone bhi nahi dunga!!
---------------------------------
Dulha Suhagrat pe Dulhan se-
Is ghar me rehna hai to Kanjoosi karni hogi.
Dulhan:
Ji Fir itna tel kyu
laga rahe ho,college Me to Mai thook Se kaam chalati thi.
------------------------------
The pure Urdu name for condom:
Ghilaaf-e-auzaar-e-mazaa-e-mohabbat bandish-e-izaafaa-e-nasal.
Kuch tamiz seekh lo nalayako.
Fugga-fugga karte rehte ho !!!
------------------------------
Man setting up password,,
Wife sitting besides.
He typed 'P*ENIS' as his password.
Wife fell-off her chair laughing when PC replied-
"Password too short..!!
-------------------------------
KASHTI se
Kinare
CHOOT gaye
ASMA se
Sitare
TOOT gaye
Par tum
nahi Sudhre
Jahan Dikhi
DIWAR,Wahi
MOOT gaye.
,,,
( ".)
< )', - - .
LL '. ....... .
--------------------------------
Ek Army Ka Jawan Apni Suhagrat Me M*uth Marne Laga,
Wife:Ye Kya Kar Rahe Ho?
Jawan:Hamley Se Pehle Hawa Me Firing Karna Humari Style Hai..
Previous............................................................... Next
Revenge - Fk you.
Request - Pls Fk off!
Failure - Im fked!
Anxiety - What the fk is happening?
Anger - Get the f*uck out of here.
Curious - how the f*uck did you do that?
Love - Just f*ucking beautiful!
Lust - ah f*uck me baby! Pride - Im a f*ucking genius!
Victory - I hav won that f*ucking competition.
Sad - Why the f*uck does this happen to me?
So enjoy f*ucking in evry emotion.
-------------------------------
Santa:Ye kon sa station hai?
Boy on platfarm: Teri maa ki ch*oot, bho*sadi k niche aake dekhle, bhen ka l*oda nawab ban raha hai.
Santa: Chalo bhai, Delhi aa gya..
---------------------------------
Sex ke baad LADKI ka pehla sabad kya hota hai?
"I LOVE U"
Nahi
"MAZA AAYA"
Nahi
"HOW ROMANTIC"
Nahi
The right ans. is
Jaanu,meri "PANTY" kidhar fenki
------------------------------
JOKE OF THE DAY
3 Kamini ladkiya apni khwahishe bata rahi thi.
Pehli:-Mere 2 husbnd hon jo sari raat mujhe bjaye.
Dosri :-Mere 4 husbnd ho jo din raat ki shift lagaye.
Teesri :-Mera ek hi shohar ho.
Uska chota sa l*und ho.
Us se mera ek beta ho,
Jo bada hoke Yuv*raj bane.
Worldcup ka Final ho,
Last ball par 2 runs ki zarorat ho,
Aur wo out ho jaye.
110 Crore logon ki awaaz aaye..
"maa ch*od do iski"
aur main pitch par jakar bolu-
Main Hoon Iski Maa....!!
Yamraj Hizde Se: Lao Apna Hisaab-Kitaab Do,
Duniya Me Kya-Kya Kar Ke Aaye Ho ?
Hizda: BHEN K LO*UDE,Bho*sdi K...
De K Kya Bheja Tha, Jo Hisab Mang Rha Hai.
-------------------------------
Pati patni train me upar ki birth pe..
Pati : jab me bolu coca cola, tub tu kapde utar dena.
Jab me bolu pepsi, tu apne tange khol dena
or jab tu bolegi Thumsup to me andar dal dunga..
Niche baitha sardar bola..
"agar limca mere upar giri to tumhari..
MAA CH*OD DUNGA."
--------------------------------
Aapke jaisa dost khone nahi dunga,
Aapko Mujhse alag hone nahi dunga.
Roz sms kiya karo Warna....
Ga*and me Mirchi dalunga aur dhone bhi nahi dunga!!
---------------------------------
Dulha Suhagrat pe Dulhan se-
Is ghar me rehna hai to Kanjoosi karni hogi.
Dulhan:
Ji Fir itna tel kyu
laga rahe ho,college Me to Mai thook Se kaam chalati thi.
------------------------------
The pure Urdu name for condom:
Ghilaaf-e-auzaar-e-mazaa-e-mohabbat bandish-e-izaafaa-e-nasal.
Kuch tamiz seekh lo nalayako.
Fugga-fugga karte rehte ho !!!
------------------------------
Man setting up password,,
Wife sitting besides.
He typed 'P*ENIS' as his password.
Wife fell-off her chair laughing when PC replied-
"Password too short..!!
-------------------------------
KASHTI se
Kinare
CHOOT gaye
ASMA se
Sitare
TOOT gaye
Par tum
nahi Sudhre
Jahan Dikhi
DIWAR,Wahi
MOOT gaye.
,,,
( ".)
< )', - - .
LL '. ....... .
--------------------------------
Ek Army Ka Jawan Apni Suhagrat Me M*uth Marne Laga,
Wife:Ye Kya Kar Rahe Ho?
Jawan:Hamley Se Pehle Hawa Me Firing Karna Humari Style Hai..
Previous............................................................... Next
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